How Kabana Became Caviar

For my non-Australian readers: Kabana is a smoked sausage that's often sliced up and served at BBQs and parties. Caviar is salt-cured fish eggs and is generally considered a fancy food.

I was about ten when Mum sent me to the corner shop to buy some kabana.

Without a note.

Simple enough.

Unfortunately, by the time I got to the shop, I had completely forgotten what I was there for.

I stood in front of the fridge trying to remember.

Cab... something.

Kabini...

Kava...

It definitely started with a K.

Then I saw it.

Caviar.

That was it.

Well, that was easy.

Now, before you judge me too harshly, I'd like to point out that caviar and kabana sounded quite similar.

At least to my ten-year-old ears.

I proudly grabbed the tin, mission accomplished, and headed home.

Looking back, there were probably a few clues that I had made a mistake.

We had never eaten caviar before.

I was ten and had somehow been entrusted with purchasing one item without a note.

And it was fish eggs.

Fish eggs.

In fairness, I did know that.

But apparently none of those things raised any concerns at the time.

I simply concluded that Mum had decided we were fancy people now.

Adults do strange things.

"Stephanie!" Mum gasped when she saw the tin on the kitchen bench.

"What's this?"

I was immediately annoyed.

"It's the stuff you told me to get."

"Kabana," she said. "Not caviar!"

Well.

That explained a few things.

Mum had not, in fact, decided we were fancy people.

I've never forgotten kabana after that.

And to this day, I've still never tried caviar.